That's what I'm going to do. For the past few years (I say few years because I have horrid memory and I KNOW it's been forever that I've felt this way), I've been depressed. It may or may not show, depending how closely you pay attention to me. I've tried my absolute hardest to hide it from the world and to not let anyone know that I'm depressed or anything of that sort. Why? Because that's NOT my image. My image has always been the exuberant, excited, happy, giggly, bubbly, fun-spirited, out-going, loserific (I don't care if that's not a word) girl who always managed to be happy (or seemed to be, at least). How could I let my image down? I couldn't. And that's what so sad. And that's what created my motto of "Just live your life."
I'm too busy and too caught up trying to make others happy and show them that I am, even though I'm really not. I mean, I guess to some extent I am happy, but that extent is only moments, not eternal. Does that make sense? I believe it does. I'm happy, but I'm only happy for moments, not eternally, truly happy. So, I guess my new philosophy (to find my happiness) is to just live my life. I'm just going to live. I want to. I want to do this. I want to do whatever it takes to be happy. I want to make myself happy. Not by force, though. I want to acheive said happiness just by living my life.
So that's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to live my life. Not what others want me to do. Not how others think I should live my life. Nothing of that sort. What I want. What I like. What I do. All me. All for me. Anything I can possibly do. And I'm not being selfish because I'm not saying I'm ignoring others and not caring about them. I still am. I still will and love to care about others. I love to help out others and make them happy. But instead of only focusing on others, I'm going to give a little bit of that time to myself. I need time to help myself also.
Just living my life.
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